Chapter 8: On the Touchline

The Power of Touch – Alternative Therapies Rated – A Grumpy Tarot Reader Sees Everything – Raking it in – Practice makes Perfect – Sporty Dogs – Who Actually is being Trained Here – On the Line – Adina’s Kryptonite

paw print

Adina’s back for another session, and for the first time I have my doubts.

‘Stanley has some way to go before he can trust again,’ she says. ‘One thing you can do to help restore his confidence is through massage. Have you heard of the T Touch?’
She demonstrates the technique – a series of formal circular passes with her hands up and down Stanley’s flank.
‘Like this,’ says Adina, ‘little circles, this way…then this…’
Stanley squeezes his eyes shut and seems to be enjoying it, but then he loves any kind of attention, especially if there’s the possibility of food at the end of it.
‘It realigns the flow of energy around the dog, and irons out any kinks,’ says Adina, digging her fingers in. ‘The technique was developed by a woman who knew a lot about dogs. And horses.’
I’m shocked. Adina’s been so thoroughly practical up till now, it’s like someone showing you how to make a great pastry tart in five easy steps, then waving a branch of witch hazel to bless the filling.
I know I’m conflicted. A tarot reader told me. When she asked me to pick my cards from the spread, I finished off with the first and the last. Now I’ve seen everything she said. A pragmatic fatalist. And I think it threw her, because the reading was so wildly off she gave me a refund.

So I admit – although I like the romance and mystery of these things, for the most part I’m pretty cynical. Alternative therapy is like religion. There’s a requirement that you hang your rational self on the peg at the door with your hat, and if you don’t – well – the magic won’t happen. And whilst it’s true that I’m happy to use mobile phones without having the slightest idea how they work, I can’t quite bring myself to believe in the healing power of crystals, or the importance of balancing your chakra, or the homeopathic benefits to be had from drinking a tincture of nettle so dilute you’d get more of a nettle hit putting your head out of the window when it’s raining. It doesn’t help that a friend of ours has made a career out of alternative therapies. Her latest business is online healing. She can work her magic over the phone, which you’d have to say is convenient, and good for the environment, if nothing else.
‘Would you like to try?’ says Adina. Stanley turns his head and gives me a deeply cynical look.
I follow the pattern of circles in Stanley’s fur. He shudders.
‘Don’t worry,’ says Adina. ‘It takes a bit of practice.’

paw print

We head out with Stanley on the usual circuit. He trots along very happily next to Adina, as relaxed as I’ve ever seen him. So maybe the T Touch has done some good – supplemented by the treats he takes from her every five yards.
We cut down a lane.
A man emerges from a gate to the right, followed by two muscular brown labradors. They all look pretty squared-off and heavy, and I’m guessing from the man’s rugby shirt that he does actually play. Probably on the same team as the dogs. Loosehead Prop, Tighthead Prop, Hooker.
When they see us they go into a scrum.
‘Now – this is good opportunity to get Stanley used to seeing other dogs walk by,’ says Adina, studying the field. ‘He’s relaxed at the moment. He doesn’t feel too threatened. But if he starts to show signs, we walk the other way. Okay? Okay.’ And she passes Stanley another treat, to make sure he understands the tactic.
I cross over to talk to the man.
‘Lovely day!’ I say.
‘Yes!’ he says.
‘We’re training him,’ I say.
‘Ah!’ he says. ‘Thought so.’
‘He’s not great on the lead. He barks a lot.’
‘He seems to be doing alright at the moment.’
We both look over at him. The labradors are a bit sneery but Stanley is too fixated on Adina to notice.
‘That’s the thing with dogs,’ says the man. ‘They need to know the rules.’
And with a big-pawed wave he heads off in the opposite direction, labradors left and right, their paws so heavy you can almost feel them through the pavement.
‘There!’ says Adina. ‘That was very good, don’t you think? So long as he has confidence that you are taking care of things, that he doesn’t have to do anything to protect himself or anyone else, and all will be well.’

We carry on.

It’s like the morning has been blessed. Stanley is polite to every dog we pass. Sometimes we stand to the side and encourage him to sniff in their direction, or ignore them, whatever he’s most comfortable with. Sometimes we carry on walking. At no time does Stanley do anything to disturb the peace. I feel encouraged, almost relaxed.
‘He’s like a different dog,’ I say to Adina.
‘He is same,’ she says. ‘Maybe you are changing.’

We pass a long line of tiny nursery school children, all wearing fluorescent tabards, all holding on to a rope, a teacher at the front and a teacher at the back. The children all laugh and smile and point, extremely excited to see something else being taken out for a walk on a lead.

We come to the churchyard. I’m just about to ask Adina a question when Stanley suddenly launches into one of his atomic woofs, throwing himself forwards so heavily it’s a struggle to stay upright. Too late I see what Stanley has seen: a French bulldog, quietly watching us approach from further along the path, ears up, legs planted, staring as malevolently as a gargoyle that leapt down off the church roof to test our faith. Stanley is so enraged even his favourite treat won’t work. There’s nothing we can do but retreat.

‘Frenchie!’ sniffs Adina. ‘There’s nothing to be done about Frenchie.’

fortune teller stan

4 thoughts on “Chapter 8: On the Touchline

  1. I’m probably even more of a doubter than you; I won’t even use a chiropractor. At least you gave it a try, but I’m chuckling at how you must have felt.

    My 16 year old geriatric cat went on a 10 day walkabout. I was resigned to never seeing him again, then one morning there he was, wanting in. I may never figure out animals.


    1. I don’t think chiropractor’s too bad. Cranial osteopathy, on the other hand… :/

      Glad your cat came back. 16’s a respectable age. Had they done it before, or was this the first time? Cats are supposed to range over quite a wide area. Maybe his flight was delayed…? 🙂


  2. He usually goes for an annual week-long holiday but never this long. Plus, he acts and looks a lot older in this last year so I worry more.


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