Boris Johnson steals a ship

for a crazy ocean-going trip!

Dancing and waving his wooden sword

while coastguards race along the shore

frantically firing off flares and rockets

and anything else they can find in their pockets

to warn him if he leaves the docks

he’ll sink the ship on the harbour rocks

but hey! he’s naughty not nautical

lacking sufficient frontal cortical

to rein in his mutinous fantasies

of piratical battles on the open seas