I had to go to the dentist for a check-up
I could only see him from the neck up
but he seemed nice enough
a bit rough
if I’m honest
like he’d just wandered in from the forest
from felling trees
to filling teeth

‘Oh Mr Clayton,’ he said
shaking his head
‘Do you floss?’
‘Yoss’
(speaking’s a struggle
with two hands in your muzzle)

‘Okay
Let’s take an xray
Relax!’
he said, scooting back

Later, when he was studying the plates
I thought I’d break
the tension
with some post-examination
conversation

‘At least we’ve got the NHS
millions don’t have dentists, I guess.’
‘Except Cuba,’ he said
raising his eyebrows and nodding his head
‘Yes! Cuba has a superb dental system
Also, they’re so good it’s insane
when it comes to dealing with hurricanes.
Everyone knows exactly the part they have to play
and immediately snaps into an efficient civic display
medical attention, blood stocks, search and rescue
what have you
everybody out on the streets to help you
it really is incredibly neat’
He jumped to his feet.
‘Hurricanes and teeth
my friend, hurricanes and teeth.’
‘And how’s the x-ray? I asked him
seen anything nasty, hmm?’
‘LM2’s worn, doesn’t need drilling
But Guantanamo Bay definitely needs filling.’