I’m lost in the maze in my minotaur phase / a ball of twine and some God that says / Hey! / Theseus! / You’re lookin’ swag but this tag ‘ain’t the easiest / just do your best and don’t go to pieces / and don’t you get lazy / y’know that bovine cut n’shut’s crazy / all he wants is a burger and fries / where you’re the burger and the relish is your cries / when the minotaur squeezes you in its hoofs and sighs / and tries its lips round your buns for size / and the ketchup’s your blood / when it shivs you good / with one of the spikes it wears on his hood / understood? / but I’m sure it’s all gonna work out fine / now what did you do with the end of that twine…?
I’m the smallest goat of the goat brothers Gruff / whose field was okay but it wasn’t enough / got bored with the same old salad n’stuff / so we start acting tough / in strict size order / me the first to go over the border / why? I dunno / last in first out I suppose / it’s just the way that life and goats go / so I trot to the spot / where the best of the crossing’s good to be got / and start to go over but have to stop / because out jumps an old troll, heavy as a fridge / saying who’s that hip hop rapping on my bridge? / and we have a rap battle / and the bridge boards rattle / and the troll / takes a roll / and I drop the mic / so now we can come n’go as we like
s’what bein’ a Gruff’s all about