thank you for your call
we apologise for the delay
in answering your query
our customer service representatives know you are waiting
we are currently experiencing a high number of enquiries
and it may be better
to call back
when things have straightened out a little
and when THAT may be
is beyond our ken
is that an expression?
beyond our ken?
no idea where that came from
Barbie?
Highlander?
anyway
we do apologise for the delay
but it’s been like this a while
we’d hire more staff
but it’s not as simple as that
listen
sometimes it takes more than a phone call
sometimes you have to find strange new powers
throw a rope made of stars
round the neck
of the beast
that stalks you
and drag it home
know what I mean?
meanwhile
there’s no one here
no one
NOT A ONE
excluding that house spider
squatting by the skirting
with hairy intent
I’m not kidding
legs all over the place
like a footballer
a lunatic
eyebrows even
bristling with attitude
you and they
my friend
the only sentient creatures
listening to this message
and
psst
wanna know something?
the spider ain’t bothered