I wanted to be Frodo
I showed them my walk
they said good god oh no
and made me an orc

I wanted to be Luke
my sword work was super
but my smile made them puke
so they made me a trooper

I wanted to be Jones
I said I was smart – see?
when I answered the phone
I’d been cast as a nazi

I wanted to be Jack
gave the reading plenty
when they called me back
I was pirate #20