my very first billion I’ll never forget
flying home in my private jet
staring down at the country below
thinking about the poor, you know
how I’d buy them up in a finger snap
and wipe them off the face of the map
saving just a thousand vassals
to cook and clean in my country castles
I’m planning a great big statue to me
hands on hips, looking out to sea
all in gold, rubies for eyes
a crown of quite prodigious size
everything in the best armour clad
with room on the head for a landing pad
a comical feature to make it complete
squashed underneath my gigantic feet
a million bodies cast in bronze
to illustrate where my profits are from
sigh
the only thing about all this money
it just makes everything else look crummy
now – take my picture and get the hell out
you’ll be wanting wads of cash no doubt
but if I find it’s a nasty piece
expect a visit from my private police