Schadenfreude
when you’re hotter than Freud on the Costa del Sol
psychoanalysing under a parasol

Kühlschrank
when you strip to your speedos and try to look cool
by jumping in an icy pool

Zungenbrecher
that hopeless feeling you sometimes get
when the cruise ship sinks and your toast gets wet

Drachenfutter
when you’ve gone too long without cutting your nails
and your feet have grown feathers, claws and scales

Verschlimmbessern
when you starve yourself and put on weight
but your best friend doesn’t and still looks great

Pechvogel
when you crow about lunch like a foodie nerd
but end up binning about a third

Zeitgeist
when you’re asked the time on your way out the door
and you shrug and say about half past four