wild about swimming

quit the histrionics
get back to your red tops, your weekend comics
this is business, dummies – basic economics
you take the shit we line our pockets
profits equals juicy deposits
and for future reference?
our stated preference
is always affluence over effluence
and – sorry to interrupt ya
simply put we’ve mugged ya
in plain sight
okay snowflake is that alright?
and if not you know where you can stick your pipes
straight up the arse of our sharp city pinstripes
so we can shit whenever, wherever we like
directly in the lakes and rivers and seas
in quite extraordinary quantities

it’s the dumpster definition of zero-sum
the piece de l’excrescence, la creme de la scum
the shitty hand on the golden pump
the bottom line, the boardroom rump
good for the margins, bad for the tum
yaddah yaddah our kingdom come
our profits be served, our will be done
in business not in health
in sickness and in wealth
forever in fever
ah men
(mindful of our margin percent)
what the eye doesn’t see the arse doesn’t grieve over
if the smell’s too bad just put your sleeve over
your nose
we propose
because accountants disclose
when treatments declined our profits rose
so we permanently diverted the overflows
it’s just the way the storm drain goes
(why you put up with it god ONLY knows)

whaddya mean you can’t paddle or snorkel?
you’re worried about eels, barbels and turtles?
death when you take a gobful and gurgle?
REALLY, Feargal?
let me help you square that circle:
profits good, spending bad
and if I’ve helped you just a little, I’m glad
now run along back to the 1980s – that’s super
and if you must swim carry a pooper scooper

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