big shop
mini shop
hit the shop
top-up shop
1 stop shop
pop up shop
proper shop
window shop
shop n’ drop
you shop and we drop
shut up shop
just stop
stop
ok
Author: jim clayton
Pilot detective pitches
Raquel et Le Grub
Raquel joins the agency
from the chorus of the Folie Bergere
Grub gets saved from vagrancy
after Ecol Militaire
two Parisian cops at night
punchy, en pointe, pissant
doing their best to make things right
in the arrondissements
Clutterbuck and Piggs
Clutterbuck lives for bourbon whisky
Piggs is a dry ex-monk
Clutterbuck likes things nice n’risky
Piggs reads books in his bunk
Clutterbuck drives a 4 litre Audi
Piggs an 82 Buick
together they keep things real n’rowdy
on the mean streets of New Yuick
Katz and Doug
Katz is a psychic sailor
Doug a retired deputy
together they live in an airstream trailer
in the wastes of Thessaly
they spend their days on ancient cases
Doug using logic and jokes
Katz sees ghosts in unlikely places
in boiler suits and cloaks
Langley and Ylang Ylang
Langley works for the FBI
Ylang Ylang – Versace
Langley uses maths and pi
Ylang Ylang Fibonacci
together they run the numbers game
from Williamsburg to SoHo
and the closing quote is always the same
Are we done here? I should Coco
poem for mrs cox
I love poems
but can’t remember them
like some people do
to quote, on cue
not that you have to
to get a laugh
with a line from Billy Collins or Sylvia Plath
I love to take a dreamy stroll
through Patricia Lockwood or Sharon Olds
John Cooper Clarke, Carol Ann Duffy
brilliant artists, nothing too stuffy
despite all that
I’m just no good at reciting them back
but to be fair
if you stood me on a chair
and said look you just stand there
until you give us some lines
of whatever kind
and if you don’t we’ll FINE you
for all the crimes you’ve
committed against poetry
you say you read it but you don’t actually don’t know any
so – no hurry
then incredibly
you’d see me
close my eyes dreamily
and speak with proficiency
these beautiful lines from Samson Agonistes:
O loss of sight, of thee I most complain!
Blind among enemies, O worse than chains,
Dungeon, or beggery, or decrepit age!
Light the prime work of God to me is extinct,
And all her various objects of delight
Annull’d, which might in part my grief have eas’d,
Inferior to the vilest now become
Of man or worm; the vilest here excel me,
They creep, yet see, I dark in light expos’d
To daily fraud, contempt, abuse and wrong
Mrs Cox taught me that in ’72’;
fifty years later I’m reciting it for you
the driver
emergency wot emergency
here they come running for all they’re worth
making progress, selling the earth
military mouths, corporate holler
ignoring warnings, spawning dollar
there’s gold in them thar’ juicy rocks!
so prime the pumps! feed the stocks!
gold tooth flashes, dirty dances
while a distant figure slowly advances
dragging the world in her coal black cape
till you make a hasty excuse and escape
to party on the deck of a flickering liner
run aground on the sandbank of her upturned timer
the trouble with sirens
sirens sit on slippery rocks
singing sweetly in kelpy frocks
their vibe so slick
you feel heartsick
and want to sail there pretty quick
ending up wrecked
dead of neglect
seasalt burns, seagull pecked
(lash yourself with ropes to the mast
carry on sailing safely past)
leaders stand in public view
reading words from an autocue
their schtick so slick
you feel heartsick
turn off the TV pretty quick
ending up cynical
hypercritical
of anyone sounding remotely political
(check the facts, the social environs
vote for genuine people not sirens)
you n’me both
a city whizz with a rampant ego
treats the country like an easy casino
but really what the hell do we know
about those oxbridge, public school pythons
they breed to lead but mostly to siphon
abundant funds from here to the horizon
covered up with sleights n’ tricks
I’m sorry – I don’t do politics
a tailored tyrant with a nanny complex
hale n’haughty lord snooty god bless
suckled on success, dressed to depress
dreaming of kisses and nighty nighty
tucked up tight in good ol’blighty
empire for hire, right n’white
throwing not shade but flagged eclipse
I’m sorry – I don’t do politics
suddenly your business closes
you can’t pay rates the council imposes
in come cuts the government proposes
weep as they weaponise the culture
bleed all public infrastructure
till they send you to war and you’re really fuck’d yeah
how does that all sound to you?
if you don’t do politics, politics does you
who am I kidding
I gave the lawn a generous margin
to make myself a wild flower garden
I mean – sure! all the seeds I scattered
I hadn’t gone out in the wild and gathered
but bought them from a shop online
straight from the store direct to mine
it’s good to buy from a place like that
guaranteed, securely wrapped
on a laptop made from metal and plastic
plugged in the mains, WiFi-tastic
factories, marketing, distribution networks
corporations with extraordinary net worths
the system set, widely dispersed
mission statements well rehearsed
for people who dig unruly borders
to fight against the law n’order
meanwhile
the plants persist: seeds, roots
invisibly beneath your boots
however you dig, the plants know best
moving out slowly beneath the surface
waiting on the moment when
the greening planet is theirs again
disney apocalypse
pinocchio’s giving a conference tonight
strung out in all the flashing lights
the blue fairy stating the known unknowns
while his nose pushes over the microphones
dumbo’s down with a case of the grumps
the circus taken by the clowns and the trumps
his mouse denounced, his handler minted
his magic feather flogged on vinted
sleeping beauty makes the rent
by cutting meth with steradent
her body stiff but her lips still ruby
her prince away on a tour of duty
snow white trills, swiping right
7 more dwarfs on the bill tonight
onlyfans always makes her babble
that and that bitch with the poisoned apple
incoming flagged on the iron dome!
mary poppins in like a drone
with a mission to flatten the whole damned city
with a bag full of swag and a heart full of pity
spit spot
spit spot
hurry along children, don’t get shot










