you’re human
I’m presumin’?
with an extra limb?
d’ya wear a rubber forehead
to be sure that
ya fit in?
c’mon – you can tell me
I’m a stand up guy
I jes need to know
what you’ll show
as your form
when you crash your saucer on the white house lawn

I promise not to freak
and come over weak
at the sight of somepin’ so unique

c’mon – mister – don’t be coy
I know you know I’m a regular boy

whacha you got there? a wavy head?
ten thousand tentacles to waggle instead?
I bet you got some exotic equipment
if ya show me ya suckers I’ll show you commitment

am I wrong?
a flower fulla teeth or an alien wing-wong?
a roar fulla soul? a heart of light?
let down your shield and let’s party tonight!

I’m up for all kindsa space age moves
spores or clouds, claws or hooves
the ornery kinda face that removes
or a helmet of gloop with intricate tubes
you choose
you can’t lose

c’mon bud – don’t keep me waitin’
I guarantee a five star rating

so what are you? plant?
intelligent gerbil?
a floating, totin’, energy circle?
are you one of them crazy starfish folk
who roll around in a sucker of spokes?
you can see I’m easy and pretty relaxed
if you’re octopoid or cephalothorax

maybe your crystals
will take out our missiles
zap all our comms and our puny ass pistols
as you shimmer and shake in the immanent air
I don’t care
I swear
long distance love is a crazy affair

christ! how the profs would rapidly talk
as they stood at their big black boards to chalk
equations of a whole new meaning
while senators and generals were busy convening
to figure out jes’ what the hell to do
with a beautiful alien cowboy like you