ants in my head

Frankly? I was distractedThem
looking up Them!
a 1950s sci-fi film about gigantic irradiated ants
One thing that bugged me
the exclamation mark doesn’t appear on the poster
Imdb’s pretty quiet about that
although it has plenty of other stuff,
Plot Holes for example:
If food is scarce in the desert, then why did an ant merely kill Gramps Johnson and leave his body in the store, instead of taking it back to the colony to be eaten as had been the other three killed up to that point?
During the first ant encounter, Dr Harold Medford tells the policemen to aim for its antennae, saying, “He’s helpless without them!” Later, he (correctly) explains that most ants are female, the rare males dying shortly after fertilizing the queen when a new nest is established.


I went from that to googling
some amazing facts about ants
here are 10 of the headlines:

  1. ANTS – An Underground Movement originating from Ibiza
  2. Ants: Fun Facts about Ants
  3. OMG! My Fire Ants Are Planning an Escape
  4. 10 Interesting Facts About Ants You Need To Know
  5. 10 cool facts about ants!
  6. Amazing Ant Facts for kids and adults to learn about ants
  7. 25 Awesome Facts About Ants You Probably Didn’t Know
  8. Really Gripping Facts about Ants
  9. Top Interesting And Exceptional Facts About Ants
  10. How to get rid of ants

Where was I?



(with thanks to IMDb!)


There are three goldfish swimming in a round plastic washing-up bowl on the floor.
‘He took the tank down with him when he went’ says Janice. ‘I had to scoop them off the carpet.’

It explains why John’s so wet, the coloured gravel in his pants.
‘Did you hurt yourself?’ I ask him.
‘Only my side where I hit the tank’ he says. ‘It’s nothing really.’
Janice is sitting on the sofa, holding a remote control with such a sense of purpose it looks like she thinks it’ll do more than just turn up the golf.

‘Good job the tank didn’t shatter’ I say, towelling John dry.
It’s sitting on the floor by the washing up bowl, three of the glass sides slid out from the uprights and resting against the furthest arm of the sofa. There’s a greasy-looking deep sea diver exposed in the middle of it, looking a little slumped over, like he’s depressed no-one’s come to take his helmet off.
‘They don’t these days,’ says Janice, staring at the TV. ‘Shatter, I mean.’

Neither of them seem bothered. In fact, to look at them you’d think one or other of them spent most days crashing to the floor covered in fish. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Once John is presentable I run through his obs and make sure everything’s as it should be. He’s due to go to a rehab bed, and really it can’t come soon enough. That’s certainly the impression Janice gives, flicking slack-faced from the golf to a sci-fi film where a man and a woman are being attacked by a giant ant. And then back again.

‘Are you going to be alright?’ I ask him.
He shrugs, starts rolling a cigarette.
‘Have you got one of those personal alarms?’
‘But Janice is here, isn’t she? She’ll be able to call the ambulance?’
I smile at her encouragingly.
‘I’m not well myself,’ she says. ‘I can’t do anything.’
‘Yes, but you could call for an ambulance?’
‘I go to bed early.’
‘Wouldn’t you hear him call out?’
‘I’m a heavy sleeper. Anyway – he’s got his mobile.’
I look back to John, who nods, then starts running his tongue along the edge of the cigarette.

The goldfish continue to swim round and round the washing bowl. I wonder when they’ll get transferred to something better. If they ever will.