Bald Middle-Aged White Men with a Beard

Bald middle-aged white men with a beard
hair thins at thirty then brutally sheared
I see them all over the place and it’s weird
and probably worse than it first appeared

evolution in action, they’re turning to clippers
USB charging, ergonomic grippers
nose and ear trimmers, beard balm and scissors
next thing you know their arms will be flippers

sleek as thumbs they slip into caps
the beard making up for what the scalp lacks
plain black tees and cargo slacks
Adidas, Nike, Reebok, Eastpaks

I see them in jeans and business suits
Havaianas flip-flops, Caterpillar boots
three bean wraps, salad fruits
e-city scooters, subway commutes

they’re taking over the world it’s true
Westfield shopping centre to Machu Picchu
as their graven, shaven plans they pursue
(never more than ten feet away from you)