(Aalliss is in the control room, her tentacles up on the dash, suckering through an ancient copy of Through the Looking Glass. Eventually she stretches, walks into the spotlight, centre stage, and sings)

fifteen millennia
sheesh – I’m tellin’ ya
it’s enough to make a Jabberwocky cringe
the thing about space
is the vibe’s not great
and the boredom makes you unhinged
we’ve been trolling the system
for signs of wisdom
sampling a world or two
but the hours are shit
and I really must quit
but what’s a Schnordrian to do?
last week we landed
on this bougie ol’ planet
run by a thing called a human
they appear to have brains
but the fact remains
their sanity’s just an illusion
so we snitched a few books
and I’ve taken a look
and one or two made me chuckle
like this thing called a bible
which is just homicidal
beards seem nothing but trouble

I like this one best
by a writer obsessed
with riddles, rhymes and conundrums
like he sat down to write
with a needle and pipe
and a sherry glass topped up with laudanum
for kids of course
it’s a sequel of sorts
to that one about Wonderland
it’s full of cool quotes
from sheep in boats
and Queens you can’t understand
I have to admit
my favourite bit
is this poem about a monster
I said to the crew
let me do it for you
but unfortunately nobody wants ta

well – screw them:

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe…’

(Suddenly an alarm sounds and the dash starts flashing: Warning! Black Hole! Warning! Black Hole! Aalliss hurries back to the console, smacks buttons and levers; nothing works. Eventually she shrugs, shuffles back into the spotlight)

the red king
the red king
he’s dreaming of me
if he leaves off dreaming
where will I be

(Aalliss holds out her tentacles and looks at them speculatively)

the time has come
the walrus said
to speak of many things
of shoes and ships and sealing wax
of cabbages and kings

every single thing’s crooked!
I’m all over pins!
what’ll become of my name when I go in?

alice!
please!
wait for me

I’m through the mirror
CONTRARIWISE!

(the spotlight snaps off)

why – it takes all the running I can do just to keep in the same place