barnaby rage by charles dickwad

were drivers this mad when it used to be carts
furiously tailgating in fits and starts
undertaking left, cutting in right
flashing their bullseye lamps at night
blasting out FM hard times rap
giving the horse’s arse a slap
to run faster into smoggy disaster
toll-booth, gin-proof, mad dog master
mud splatter, cobble clatter, bad mouth brutal
get ‘art the way you adjectival fopdoodle
clay pipe of crack, eyes wide red
homburg hat tipped back of the head
heart full of horrors, pocket full of rats
boots up on the dash reading oliver twats

What the Dickens?!

Those major works summarised:

The Johnson Papers
A bumbling fool with tousled hair
trashes the place without a care
feckless, boastful, never delivers
struggles by on endless dinners

Barnaby Sludge
A riotous work of political fiction
pollution rife without restriction
waterways fouled for an easy buck
if you want to swim in the sea, good luck

Great Lamentations
An epic tale of wishful thinking
rule britannia slowly sinking
a crazy bride in a mouldering mansion
dreaming of Empire, global expansion

Bleak House
Thirteen years of Tory misrule
bankrupting all the hospitals and schools
public discourse a noxious barrage
of Churchill knock-offs and Nigel Farrage

Cameron Twist
A cheeky orphan goes on the run
after throwing a referendum to have some fun
fails the public, fails himself
Sykes, his dog and the National Health

Little Brexit
A melodrama in nineteen parts
staggers along in fits and starts
just when you think there’s nowt more to flog
up pops Sunak, Jacob Rees-Mogg

A Tale of One Party
It was the best of times, it turned to shit
The Tory party made sure of it
The vote got through on a narrow margin
but OF COURSE there was no sense of compromise or balance in the subsequent negotiations, was there – I mean – why WOULDN’T you antagonise your nearest and biggest trading partners? Hmm?