I was at the gym
rowing
going
nowhere
with everything I had
while watching an ad
for a luxury cremation service

apparently this purchase
of a fully-paid up furnace
guarantees us
when we’re ready for Jesus
in other words snuff it
that the family won’t say stuff it
let’s rough it
we haven’t the lolly
so we’ll sling him in a shopping trolley
and wheel him down the boating lake
(it’s not fenced-off)
for a bargain, DIY Viking send-off

no

rather

this beloved partner
fit former father
gym-toned parvenu
will get escorted down the avenue
with an honour guard of rowers to a right royal barbecue

(or something – I didn’t really understand it TBH)