the (un)divine comedy

They should put up a big red sign at Dover
a block print banner to flutter over
the border kiosks around the port
(to give you plenty of time to abort):
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
which reads a little way south of severe
but let’s be honest and riotously clear
we’ve suffered the Tories for twelve long years

I mean – Dante described nine circles of Hell
but even HE would’ve baulked at TWELVE

We’ve had Cameron and his referendum
The Maybot jerking ad infinitum
the virus years of Boris the Clown
piffling and waffling, his pants falling down
and when he was finally tossed with the trash
a million years of a leadership clash
which no-one could vote for – SO ironic
ending up with Trussonomics
which kicked a hole in the economy – thanks
so she got fired for spooking the banks
and now the Austerity Brothers, Sunak & Hunt
who say they’re honest but let’s be blunt
one’s a banker and the other’s a former health minister, I think?


at least the PM knows about struggle
with worries that’d make the rest of us buckle
it must be hard getting by when you’re wealthy
houses in Kensington, apartments in Chelsea
mansions in Yorkshire, Santa Monica
that’s why you’ll find him playing harmonica
‘Spare some change? I’m overwhelmed;
those swimming pools won’t fill themselves’


two more years and then we vote
one last chance to stay afloat
but if that fails then – shrug – oh well
I’ll skateboard screaming through the circles of hell

status update XXI

I’m the snores not applause / at the end of the Blackpool Tory chorus / shaken awake and stampeding for the doors / too little Capricorn, too much Taurus / the clean up bill enormous / corporate fraud & tax avoidance / cockiness next to godliness / now – it’s all been rather nice / but I see you’re missing the old school tie / so here’s some advice / run for the gates and don’t think twice / I’ll count to five…

I’m checking the CCTV from time to time / counting all the robots waiting in line / system code like nursery rhymes / programmed to believe in better times / circuit soup, nuts & bolts pie

Eat less, do more – is THAT what your message is? / There needs no ghost, come from the grave, To tell me this / anyway – for your information? / I’ve already had that conversation / relax, max / I got the app / every last crumb of that cake is mapped

Words flail me / assail & nail me / totally top n’tail me / my pen impales me / Vlad the Impaler’s smiling – that twisted ol’ cat / but he misses the point and I turn him down flat / I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that)

I’m the snail of failure slowly going crazy / dreaming of home but my memory’s hazy / draggin’ my slimy ass to the line / the world on my back the whole goddamn time

I’m Donald Trump / slumped / waving top of the garbage dump / Make America Great Again! / yeah? – well it’s been grating constantly since way back when

I’m Dishy Rishy in fiscal drag / dipping for lippy in a Gucci bag / leaning back, lighting a fag / saying l’m shagged / I’m like – totally done with your poverty / your endless talk of economic robbery / inequality / but you see? / what really bothers me? / your hair’s a mess and your shoes a monstrosity / now get the hell off my adorable property

Give us this day our daily bread / a car for the drive and a gun for the bed / you wished on a star and got this shit instead