Click your heels three times my Priti / fly with your monkeys to the Emerald City / where the yellow road’s turned all brown and shitty / where Boris is the Wizard and his little dog’s Toto / and the cliff’s gleam white somewhere over the rainbow / where John Bull splits his Union Jack pants / and Britannia’s broke and forced to dance / for clubs and cabals of junk bond investors / CEOs and company directors / whacked out on coke and artisanal gin / laughing and stuffing fifties in her string

Hello! / you join us at the bougie home / of the right dishonourable Priti Patel don’t you know / minister of spin and propaganda / sipping ice tea on her lovely veranda / waving at the planes flying out to Rwanda / Hi – it’s LOVELY to see ya / and if you’re fleeing persecution I wouldn’t wanna be ya / let me give you some usable quotes / migrants means compliance and boats mean votes / you must always use the correct form if you can get one / and use the right channel and I don’t mean the wet one / but golly – listen to me pretty prattle / here’s my sabre – let’s give it a rattle