Stanley

off lead

~ jim clayton ~ Leave a comment

what do you do
with a dog like you
sniffing with his snout
running about
can’t hear a thing
so you have to shout
woolly as a rhino
extinct – I know
lived in the Pleistocene
Pleistocene not Plasticine
(is this really a poem about Stanley?
I think you’re getting sidetracked, sadly)

how to proceed
with Stanley off lead
yeti grade feet
tail so sweet
following his nose
back for a treat
lairy as loki
the series was hokey
Hiddelston charming
the dialogue jarring
(look – this is NOT a poem about dogs;
go find yourself another job)

the stanley anomaly

~ jim clayton ~ Leave a comment

about 4 billion years ago
give a take a week or so
our Last Universal Common Ancestor
did its single cellular best ta
scrape a living around some vents
which as livings go is quite intense

fast forward through the family tree
and we end up with a dog called Stanley
half grey wolf, half old sofa
a perfectly adapted eater and loafer
a mishmash of such indescribable looks
Darwin would’ve tossed his books

stanley’s poppins

~ jim clayton ~ Leave a comment

(with sincere apologies to the Sherman bros.)

aaoooowh….

Supersmellystinkystanleyexpelwhiffatrocious
Even just the sound of him is something quite ferocious
If he lets off next to you you’ll have a bad thrombosis
Supersmellystinkystanleyexpelwhiffatrocious

bum did a little whistle bum did a sigh
bum did a little whistle bum did a sigh

One day I heard a funny squeak when I was on the rug
I gave my nose a little tweak to guard it from the fug
But then it hit me properly and nature did the rest
And as they laid my body out these fateful words I said…

aaoooowh….

(repeat ad nauseam….)