shortbread

‘How was your day?’
‘TERRIBLE!’
‘Why? What happened?’
‘Every single referral
Was PROPERLY SICK.
I don’t just mean quite poorly.
I mean CIRCLING THE DRAIN
‘So why did they all come to us?
What about the other teams?’
‘Exactly. That’s what I said.
Where’s everyone else? I said.
They don’t have capacity, they said.
Oh really? I said.
So where’s our’s coming from?
The CAPACITY FAIRY?
It’s the closest I’ve come to giving up, Jim.
swear to God
I mean – it’s like no-one’s ever faced this before
Doctors, Paramedics, you name it
All of them reduced to a blind panic.
I was surprised I didn’t get a referral
from the UNDERTAKERS.
I may as well have
I’d have had the same odds
You see – what it is – they’re running out of options, Jim.
They don’t know what to do
The balloon’s goin’ down
and they’re chucking everything out the basket
Well I’m sorry, I know I’m good
I can fix most things but I can’t fix GRAVITY
I didn’t know what to do, Jim
I’d have taken them all home with me
if I had a bigger kitchen
I mean – these people are MORTALLY UNWELL
I would’ve sent the lot of them to hospital
a job lot of the damned
if it wasn’t obvious that was the last place
they needed to be’
‘You’ve had a bad day.’
‘BAD DAY? Officially the WORST.
All I need’s the T-SHIRT.’
She takes a crumbly bite of millionaire shortbread
a slug of tea
‘How’m I supposed to sleep tonight
thinking about all those poor people
balanced on the edge
looking in my direction?’
She looks in my direction.
‘Help yourself to shortbread’ she says.

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