Jason Statham reviews the Shark DuoClean Lift-Away Vacuum Cleaner with TruPet

The Shark DuoClean Lift-Away Vacuum Cleaner with TruPet
I have to say
I liked – no – strike that – I LOVED – this sexy little puppy
I mean – take the LED lights on the head of it
In-fuckin’-credible
they lit up the bed like a magnesium flare
I saw everything, and I mean EVERYTHING
bone fragments, other shit
it all went rattling up the pipe
nice
I liked the way the attachments snapped on and off
clean & sweet
reminded me of the folding stock & sights
on my Barrett MRAD
I thought the duster brush was okay-ish
the only weak spot
in the whole shootenanny
poor density of bristles, my friend
but hey – it’s an imperfect world
live with it
I still managed to get round
the ceiling, behind the dresser
the cage
I appreciated the generous amount of cable
nice touch, fellas
not quite enough
to lower myself all the way to the ground
but just enough to fuck up the copter blades
so all’s well that ends well
The hand attachment felt properly weighted
allowing for a decent swing
right and left, solar plexus, throat
Overall, I thought the build quality was top-notch
wipe clean, scratch proof, water resistant
In a word: forensic
So that’s it
The Shark DuoClean Lift-Away Vacuum Cleaner with TruPet
Five stars
Happy?
Wonderful.
Now put ten on the clock, my friend
Let’s blow this popsicle stand.

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