There was a poo bag by the side of the woodland path / lime green / easily seen / you couldn’t miss it / maybe they intended to pick it up on the return visit / but then, no / the way these things usually go / I don’t think so / I think they were hoping someone else would deal with it, y’know? / their precious dog’s effluvio / passively aggressively making the point / they’d like more poo bins around the joint / like a poo theme park / more bin less bark / maybe the odd tree here and there / to make it nice & sweeten the air

so here was my dilemma / do I leave it in the hope they come back later? / or do I carry it myself to the bins in the rec? / what the heck / although, I have to say / it is actually quite a way / to sashay / with a lime green handbag of poo / swinging nonchalantly by the side of you

so I’m ashamed to say / my squeamishness got the better of me today / I left it in situ / and submit to / your judgement / and my lack of environmental de-fudgement

But does it really matter what I do or say / if I carry the poo now or leave it for another day? / it’s not going to stop the rainforests burning / the drill bits turning / the microplastics churning / in the gizzards and the guts / of the leatherback turtles and the guillemots / the droughts, the floods / the cataracts of mud / the superbugs / fat bergs / skinny icebergs / rampaging cyborgs / carrying out their military instructions / for the surgical reductions / of human populations / and a hundred other dystopic situations /

I mean / according to Queen / in Bohemian Rhapsody / existentially / Nothing Really Matters / because at the end of time when everything scatters / and we’re caught changing seats like a trillion Mad Hatters / at the Tea Party / at the End of the World / everything will get scooped and tagged / in one gigantic / galactic / sanitary / interplanetary / super-pooper bag / and tossed with everything we thought we’d lost and won / into the indifferent heart of an imploding sun

I mean – one poo bag’s not going to swing it / is it? / it’s just a little bit of shit / in a shady glade / in a shiny green poo bag that will never degrade /

(why the hell they didn’t just flick / the shit / with a stick / into the undergrowth / I don’t know)