and I’ll tell you something else

I’m a liar liar / truth denier
I’m a deep fact fryer
a self-made / weapons grade / dumb for hire
I’ve had a kiddin-me transplant / a government grievance grant
I’ve got a heavyweight, click-bait, racist agenda
a shockproof, through the roof, bias defender
I’ve had a truth tuck / a conscience bypass
I’m invasive as pampas grass
swinging or otherwise
I’m so counter I’m clockwise
I’m a meal deal bants with fries
a vanilla alt shake
all talk and no take
I’m number one
a bit of fun
I’m fast & furious III
built for speed
morally free
one hundred and ten percent me
mate
and if you don’t like it, great

I’ve got rants and I’m not afraid to use ‘em
I’ve got flag pants and I’m not afraid to wave ‘em
so stop misbehavin’
toe the line
wherever that is
see that boneyard? that’s where my flat is
I’ve even got a lanyard / picture of a hokey, low key / old time backyard
‘Accost All Areas’

I’m the lairiest / scariest / hairiest
I’m the 4G golem
I follow people just to troll ‘em
I’m the baddest mother spider on the web
I’ll kiss you goodnight and put you to bed
and transfuse your brains with soup instead
then hurry home to chicken and cheap white bread
I’ve got a whole bag of sticks and stones / mobile phones
and if that don’t work I’ll try hammers
memes and flames from internet scammers
I’m anti-woke / spookily spoke / blankety bloke
I put the onion in opinion and the crack in croak /
I’m all spach like zarathustra / (now I’ve confus’d ya)
god is dead
yeah?
so stand by your beds
I’ve come to speak for Him instead

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