[Note: I’m playing catch-up with these diary entries, so all this happened about a month ago, before the coronavirus outbreak. Hope you’re all well & staying safe x]

After the Flood – Even the Rabbits are Well Behaved – Lulled – Stanley Likes Collies. A LOT – Releasing the Hound & Immediate Regrets – If NASA made dogs – And the Award for Best Actor goes to… – What it Means When they Light the Candle – The Woman with the Poorly Knee (plus cat) – The Final Reckoning

It’s been raining – so hard, and for so long, I’m sure there must be an old man with a white beard somewhere, sawing the last plank for his boat, frantically glancing up at the sky with a mouth full of nails, whilst his neighbours twitch the curtains and talk to social services. But for one moment at least, the clouds thin, the light lifts, and a late sun peeks its nose out.

‘Come on!’ I say to the dogs, who both look at me as if I’ve lost my mind. They perk up as soon as we’re out, though. The world feels and smells wonderfully fresh, new-made and inviting. Everything has a drowned look, like an underwater village reemerging when the dam walls breach. Gutters, drains and gulleys. everywhere and everything bubbling and rushing with water; the path through the allotments down to the horse field so torrentially flooded it’s like picking your way down a waterfall. I wouldn’t be surprised to see stranded fish flapping about on the stones.

I keep Stan on the lead over the field, but let Lola run on ahead. I feel guilty about that, as I always do, but Stan would only run off if I let him go here. My plan is to do some line work as we go, then once we’re over into the second field, I’ll throw a ball for Lola and let Stan run after it, too. As soon as his attention wanders– as it inevitably will – from the ball to the prospect of rabbits in the hedgerow, I’ll put him back on the lead for more line work and that’ll be that.

He does really well. He even comes running back as soon as I call his name, which is so wonderful I feel like singing. It won’t be long, I think. We’ll be off the lead any day now. We head back home through the mud.

Off in the distance I saw a woman approaching with a young collie dog. Stan is immediately interested, pulling on the lead in his eagerness to run over and say hello. My first instinct is to take a wider route round; my second – fatally – is to unclip his lead and let him off. He’s been so good today, I think. It’ll be fine.

It really wasn’t.

Stanley didn’t just run. He took off, all at once, in a mad, leggy, uncoordinated rush. It was like the countdown at Cape Canaveral, except the rocket tears away the very moment you start the countdown, and you’re left holding the lead or whatever it is you secure rockets with, and watch the mud boiling off in the distance. Houston, we have a problem.

Rockets aren’t known for their brakes. In fact, although I’m not a rocket scientist, I think I’m right in saying that rockets don’t actually have any brakes. The closest they’ve got is a parachute that rips out of the command module during re-entry. A parachute would’ve done very well here, to be honest, because – despite the heavy going – Stanley gets such a speed up he absolutely can’t stop. I’m too far away to really see, so much of this description isn’t 100% reliable, but I’m pretty sure the collie dog raises its eyebrows, opens its mouth in horror and crosses itself, just seconds before Stanley ploughs into them all.

Luckily, the collie is both agile and forward thinking. At the last moment it springs straight up into the air, so Stanley can somersault underneath it in a chaotic tumble of mud, legs, ears and water.

I can hear the howls as I run over.

By the time I get there, Stan is up on his feet – or three of them, at least. He’s holding his front left leg out at a funny angle, and I’m convinced he’s broken it. He won’t bear any weight on it, and when I gently feel along the bone it seems to have an unnatural mobility to it. I wonder what Adina will say when she comes round and finds him in a cast.
‘I take it from this you decided not to follow my programme.’

The woman with the collie is very kind. She walks Lola with me as I carry Stanley to the gate. He’s trembling, his long paws draped over my shoulders. I’ve already phoned home, so Kath is waiting on the road with the car. We drop Lola home, then take Stanley to the emergency vets, half an hour away.

The practice is a spacious, single-level affair, floor to ceiling windows, sculpted plastic chairs fixed to the floor, a curving, white reception desk, and exhausted vets and nurses striding in and out of the examination rooms in blue scrubs. We’ve made Stanley as comfortable as possible on the towels that we’ve brought. He lies shivering at our feet.
Kath nods to a little display on a low cabinet by reception, something like a shrine, with a simple electric candle and an open book.
‘They light the candle when they’re putting an animal to sleep,’ she says, in a whisper.
‘That’s a bit morbid, d’you think?’
‘Well. I suppose it means people won’t mind if they’re in for a bit longer. And they might keep the noise down. Anyway – could be worse. Could be like those freaky animatronic workmen in the window of the cobblers. Except this one’d be the Grim Reaper.’
She grimaces and mimes waving a scythe.
The receptionist looks over to us. Kath pretends she’s easing her neck.
‘Shouldn’t be long now,’ says the receptionist.
Kath reaches down to stroke Stan’s head.
‘I don’t think he’s broken anything,’ she says. ‘He seems to have perked up.’

A woman using elbow crutches comes out of the consulting room, followed by a nurse carrying the woman’s cat in a basket.
‘My husband left me when I came out of hospital with the new knee,’ says the woman, handing over her debit card.
‘Oh,’ says the receptionist. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
She prints off the bill in silence.
The woman on crutches does an awkward little hop so she can turn to face us.
‘Alright?’ I say.
She nods grimly, but whether she means it’ll be my turn standing where she is to pay, or whether she means the divorce, I’m not entirely sure.

When we’re called through, I take it as a good sign that Stanley can walk with only the suggestion of a limp. The vet gives him a thorough going over, says she thinks it’s a sprain, writes a scrip for pain relief, tells us not to walk him for a couple of weeks, and sends us out again.

As we pass through the lobby I can’t help glancing down at the candle.