The friend of a friend of someone I know
(a pretty loose connection as these things go)
has started yet another new business
spiritual well-being & fitness
specialising in Angelic Reiki
which sounds a little shaky
but apparently she’s passed all the levels
from Elementary Handling of Devils
to Advanced Astral Repositioning & Revels
so now you too can be a student
and spend your way to spiritual attunement
plugging in to the angelic movement
with a direct debit for regular payment
(and yes, I know, in the current crisis
the official government advice is
Stay at Home unless it’s urgent
for things like bread and milk and detergent
But how much more vital could it be
to seek protection angelically?
Anyway – you needn’t fret
that they haven’t ended the lockdown yet
because a benefit of this particular therapy
is it works just as well on the landline, apparently
which I have to admit is quite a neat feature
for such a complicated procedure).