Achilles’ Mum was a worried nymph / obsessed with infection and the quality of lymph / convinced / if her son wasn’t rinsed / in the Stygian waters of the Styx / he’d be vulnerable to spears and typhoid and bricks / so ignoring his squeals / she dunked him by the heels / which would’ve been okay / if she’d thought to swap hands halfway / so the immunisation failed / and Achilles got nailed / with an arrow to the heel / which he hadn’t concealed / with chainmail socks and boots / but left to the air / in a fancy pair / of golden sandals / which showed off his ankles / but really? / for someone so severely / immuno-ammo-compromised? / the footwear was tragically ill-advised