The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
ride around aimlessly for a bit
tie their horses to rubbish skip
buy four large portions of fish and chips
struggle to eat them without any lips

well this is shit / says PLAGUE
nonplussed, kinda vague
not exactly End of Days
is it?
not our usual kinda visit

don’t be obtuse, Bruce / stay boney and loose
says CONQUEST / the meanest of the four, no contest
tossing a handful of chips down his craw
watching them tumble straight out on the floor

this is serious / there’s nothing mysterious 
about a pandemic
you of all people should know that, goddamit

PLAGUE / has nothing more to say
just waves hi / to a jogger jogging by
who takes one look at his fleshless mien
and drops down dead there and thien

oops you did it again / says FAMINE
tugging his hood around his skull
that’s me full
or as full as you can be when you’re dead
I can’t remember being this well fed

WAR / bored / balls / his empty chip wrapper
chucks it at a window cleaner
but it bounces harmlessly off his bucket
fuck it
that’s not like me
we’d better make it best of three

FAMINE shakes his head / cracks his dusty knuckles and says
I thought it’d be obvious when the world was to end
like an interview with God on CNN

well – I haven’t heard anything particular
not a squeak of someone speaking in the old vernacular
have you?

true / yawns CONQUEST / stretching his bony arms right and left
it’s one unholy mess / and I have to confess
I’m feeling a bit disillusioned / with the general confusion
why can’t we just get it over and done with
rain instant death on the people we have fun with 

PLAGUE sneezes / into the sleeve / of his cloak
CONQUEST? You crazy old croak!
you’re so witless you’re woke
you think everyone drops dead just cos you spoke?

well – d’uh! / what d’you think the Four Horsemen are for?
with names like FAMINE and CONQUEST and WAR?
we’re not called REPETITIVE COUGH or ASYMPTOMATC
it’s pathetic / too chronic
I need something supersonic / a bit more bubonic

I’m sympathetic, CONQUEST / honest / but it’s frightening
these days you need more than a horse and some lightning
but hey – don’t panic
it’s gonna get manic
we’re scratching around now but soon we’ll have plenty
when Donald Trump wins in 2020