I was a middle-aged zombie

I got bit
by this geezer
over by the supermarket freezer
he looked like shit
chased me round the aisles and would not quit
and I have to admit
I’m not that fit
and unfortunately that was the end of it

now I’m out
in the street
howling at everyone I meet
staggering about
legs all draggy and eyes like a trout
snot from my snout
without the shadow of a doubt
100% zombie or thereabouts

but what’s worse
than the limp
that makes me walk like a monstrous shrimp
or the bloody shirts
or the people in cars who slam in reverse
or the corpses I convert
no – the thing that REALLY hurts
is people still call me an office clerk

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