So… mum dies and goes to dog heaven
gets met at the gates by a St Bernard called Kevin
who takes her coat, asks how she is
(grimaces… says AWKS!…apologises)
then with a strum of his bone-shaped harp
the safety gates tremble and part
Kevin slips a harness on Mum
and leads her into the Canine Kingdom

and all the clouds are fluffy white baskets
and all the water bowls silver caskets
and all the waiters Bichon Frise pups
and the maitre D’s a Dobermann in a tux
and the angels are Pointers, Lurchers and Spaniels
with clip-on wings and golden sandals
and Paul O’Grady says hi how are ya
surrounded by crowds of adoring chihuahuas

‘This way,’ says Kevin, ‘No tour’s complete
without you getting a chance to meet
the owner of this awesome squad…’
and he leads her into the sight of DOG