So… mum dies and goes to dog heaven
gets met at the gates by an Airedale called Kevin
who takes her coat, asks how she is
(laughs… says DEAD!…apologises)
then with a strum of his bone-shaped harp
the poodle-themed gates tremble and part
Kevin clips a silver collar on Mum
and leads her into the Canine Kingdom

basically all the clouds are fluffy white baskets
and all the bowls shaped like golden caskets
and all the waiters Bichon Frise pups
and the maitre D a Dobermann in a tux
and the angels are Pointers, Lurchers and Spaniels
with clip-on wings and golden sandals
and Sky TV plays Scooby-Doo on a loop
and there’s a doggy angel self-help group
sitting on clouds in respectful circles
while a Viszla sobs and talks about squirrels

‘This way,’ says Kevin, ‘No tour’s complete
without you getting a chance to meet
the owner of this awesome squad…’
and so he leads her into the sight of Dog