it’s not just low tide
it’s totally no tide
like the ocean
had the notion
to turn round and quit
all that idle, tidal, diurnal shit
this is not a simulation
this is an uh-oh, here we go, no flow type situation
King Neptune burbles: you blind barbarians!
you’ve totally crapped up my beautiful aquarium!
but honestly, Neppie – you can talk
your trident’s nothing but a plastic fork
your armour’s made of bottle tops, your beard’s a bag
your crown’s a pack ring and your net’s a drag
so spare us the pelagic rodomontade
it’s real life flipper and it’s not that hard
get yourself used to the world being fishless
and maybe cross surfing off your wishlist