the devil’s day off

there I am
driving to a health spa in the village of the damned
fork and cloak packed, weekend planned
oodles of beautiful time on my hands
but when I get there the car park’s rammed
absolutely jammed
all hell broke loose and getting tanned
you must understand
what I did next wasn’t exactly on-brand
but there’s a level of access I demand
and when I don’t get it I’m quite unmanned
I conjured forth great tornadoes of sand
earthquakes shivered at my command
till the little fiends fled from that boutique land
and I strolled up to the counter to claim my wristband

the whole thing was really quite a trauma
but I cooled off nicely in the sauna

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