Every Christmas
I used to give Grandma
one of three things:
Oil of Ulay;
Cuticura talcum powder,
or tights (20 to 30 denier)

Oil of Ulay
was an anti-ageing face cream;
Cuticura talcum powder
soothed irritated skin
and sopped up moisture,
and tights (20 to 30 denier)
were warm and supportive

And scientists are in no doubt
THAT’S why
Grandma is still
pulling crackers
at 140