a hat like that

have you seen my toothbrush?
no
oh my god – are you ACTUALLY using it?
NO! this is mine. yours is in the bag
what – LOOSE? not even IN something? eww
what’s eww about that?
who KNOWS what else you’ve had in there.
what do you think I’ve had in there?
exactly.
are you going to have a shower?
no. I’ll wait till I get home
what about your teeth?
I’ll do them then
what – in the shower?
no? who the fuck cleans their teeth in the shower?
you’re weird
you don’t get to talk to me about weird when you’re wearing a hat like that

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