A Tragedy in Neverending Acts

ACT I
Scene 1

The Terraces in front of The Houses of Parliament.

King SUNAK slides on dressed in a golden cloak and, erm… sliders – hesitates, looks right and left – then moves stage centre, wringing his hands

Suddenly the CHORUS appears, all in blue and white robes & wearing cheap Britannia masks. SUNAK turns round with a start

CHORUS:
Think before you speak O King!
Freight thy words with lead!
Cursed be he who says a thing
about Brexit being dead

SUNAK
No. Absolutely. And what I think
if you give me half a chance
is that Britain is on the brink
of a major economic advance

The CHORUS start hopping around in a clumsy revelry – quite embarrassing – very uncoordinated and unprofessional – masks falling off revealing them to be Russian plutocrats, Oil & Gas executives, International Hedge Fund managers etc.

SUNAK
Jesus Christ this gig is tough
It’s horrible being PM
it wouldn’t be so bad n’stuff
if I didn’t have to deal with them

The Chorus stop dancing, gather themselves, try to look dignified

CHORUS:
Your reign is mortal! Easily nixed!
Prime Ministers cheap and then some
Never forget how our fate was fixed
in a binding referendum

Suddenly there is a clap of thunder, lightning and other cheap effects. TRUTH descends in a wobbly chariot, squashing the CHORUS.

TRUTH:
Your referendum was built on lies!
Remember the Golden Bus?
Why is it really such a surprise
The UK is quite bust!
You took our place in Europe
Destroyed it on a whim!
Tore it all down from the floor up
And threw it in the bin!
Supply chain costs rising higher and higher
Poor environmental protection!
All for a right wing dream of Empire
sold on fake news and deception!

The FURIES rush on – basically the Daily Mail, Sun, Express, Daily Telegraph, GB NEWS, Laurence Fox etc. Everything descends into chaos. SUNAK is thrown in the Thames. The Houses of Parliament catch fire…

CLIMATE CHANGE creeps on, stage left. Watches the fighting, then shrugs and turns to the audience:

CLIMATE CHANGE:
This is peachy! What a breeze!
One day they’ll wake to discover
how I took the planet with absolute ease
while they were busy fighting each other…