‘ees … a lovely lil’ lurcha from Londin Tahn
sleeps all day on the undergrahn
riding the escalators up n’ dahn
a lovely lil’ lurcha from Londin Tahn

so…

wag yer tail
gnash yer teeth
march on the spot like a hairy chief
if yer see the king
wait a bit
lurchas don’t care ‘baht any of it

‘ees… a lovely lil’ lurcha from Befnal Green
big belly grumblin’ like a washing machine
breath that’ll turn yer a shade o’ green
a lovely lil’ lurcha from Befnal Green

and it’s….

lick yer balls
sniff yer snaht
make a bad smell like a brussel spraht
if yer see a tory
bark and fret
he ‘ain’t seen a tory he likes much yet

‘cos…. ‘eeeeees…… aaaaaaaa

lovely lil’ lurcha from Pimlico
acts like a bear, sounds like a crow
I phoned up Crufts – did they want him? (NO!)
a lovely lil lurcha from Pimlico

so

pick yer scabs
lick yer arse
focus on the crocus in fits n’starts
raise yer leg
pee n’ poo
put the WC in WC2

caaaahhhhs eeeees aaaaaaaaa

lovely lil’ lurcha from Londin Tahn
sleeps all day on the undergrahn
riding the escalators up n’dahn
a lovely lil’ lurcha from Lon…DIN TAAAAAAAAAHHHHNNNNN

(cough)

Fanks a lot.
Fanks.
Please. No more biscuits – me collar’s gettin’ tight