Dan, a hanger-left-in-the-jacket type
stands at the console gnawing his pipe
sighs, jangling the change in his pockets
watching the scientists prep the rockets

‘General – it’s almost half past eight!
‘If we don’t act now we’ll be too late!’
‘Damn it, Dan! We’re doing our best!
‘If you can do better, man – be my guest!’

‘Fine!’ says Dan, grabbing his fedora
‘Arrivederci signore, signora’
Cut to: Dan strapped in a seat
waxing his hair to keep it neat

His fiance Janet looks in to say
he’s the smartest fool in the USA
they smooch a while and smoke cigars
five minutes later they’re landing on Mars

they climb down the ladder, just her n’him
(someone plays a theremin)
suddenly Janet bites her knuckle
hears a spidery kinda chuckle

her perfectly made-up blue eyes widen
Martian spiders on the horizon!
she falls to the ground; Dan tries to raise her
nerfs at the bugs with a bougie laser

nothing works; they just keep comin’
clackers smackin’, feelers drummin’
Janet says hold me, Dan just grimaces
‘Let’s get married with spiders as witnesses’

the spiders prime their spinnerets
snap their jaws like castanets
snack on the duo then turn their antenna
on the screaming people in the cinemma

ripping up seats, crunching metals
tossing the audience back like pretzels
stomp outside through the screams and honks
munching Manhattan, Long Island, The Bronx

Montanna, Idaho, Massachusetts
with a hyperactive mass of chew sets
Canada, Ireland, Mozambique
a world-beating smorgasbord, so to speakants

then with everything horribly shook up
they stop where they are and suddenly look up
see you reading this poem there
and