6 beard mistakes and how to avoid them
beards
incident on platform 9
speaking philosophically
when did I become me?
at what precise point
did this idiosyncratic joint
of muscle and gristle
separate from the abyssal
plain of endless eternity
in a messy ward in maternity
at the local London infirmary
and eventually become
that certain kinda someone
who, when waving goodbye to a friend at the station and blissfully unaware of the danger,
turns on the spot
and finds himself lost
in the voluminous beard of a stranger
8 great beard styles for bald men
The Colonel
Bags of snap
wear with a cap
makes you want to march about
definitely a beard you can do without
The Shovel
Sharp, flat, not much trouble
starch it for clearing snow and rubble
The Nonsense
Half stubble, half chaff
Some love it, most laugh
strictly for those
with expensive clothes
The Octopus
Tentacles flying left and right
a sucker lover’s deep delight
unless you’re able to constantly wet it
forget it
The Glitch
The kind of beard a bot would knit
from cable ties or some such shit
The Hadron Kaleidoscope
Weirdly hyperactive
unnaturally attractive
sprouts in one particular spot
then moves around an awful lot
The Brexit
British Empire reminiscent
looks like hair but sadly isn’t
The Pocket Politician
Long, luxurious hirsute monster
maintain it with a generous sponsor
jim clayton 