greek trauma

Jason and the Argonauts
succumbed to darker thoughts
Theseus found the Minotaur
but also a minor flaw
despite all the selfies & martial displays
he actually preferred getting lost in the maze
Prometheus
was queasiest
thought life with a liver-ripping eagle was easiest
Persephone
helplessly
dodging her dodgy family endlessly
picked at her food, flip flopped restlessly
six months Hades, six months Thessaly
King Midas
wise ass
everyone giving his high fives a hard pass
easy touch, gastric band
swapped his friends for krugerrands
and Icarus?
bored, basically sick of us
his dad plain mad, the rest ridiculous
full of wax and feathery spunk
spread his wings, aired his junk
but it didn’t work out and his dream got sunk

the icarus factor

there’s something just a little bit ick
about the way young Icarus licks
each shiny eagle feather he picks
out of the basket and lovingly sticks
to the ludicrous wings his father’s fixed

Daedalus
needless
to say
refuses to look the other way

listen, oh son
don’t be so dumb
maybe someday you could be someone
the job’s nearly done
our glass almost run
and remember – don’t fly close to the sun

but Icarus was a sucker for showy dramatics
and despite all the drawings and mathematics
can’t resist some aerobatics

he pushes his luck way up to the max
and tragically soon the Med impacts
pride, unfortunately, one of those facts
like using glue instead of wax

a truly heroic shop

(In which Jason stops off at Sainsbury’s to get a few things on his way home)

I suffer’d many trials
sailing through miles
of meat and dairy chiller isles
the clashing rocks
of cheap baked beans and trainer socks
ginger snaps and wonder mops
towering cliffs of country soups
spartan crackers, spaghetti hoops
What use have I for these
Oh Zeus?
I am not so useless as Ulysses
I am Jason
whacked off my nut on travel medication
fleeced, half-asleep
dreaming on the Argo
while my precious cargo
of ripe n’ready avocados
chestnut mushrooms & plum tomatoes
mouthwash, bin bags
Lemnos lemons in cute string bags
boozes for boozing
on Thy debit card cruising
almost losing
the entire wire ship
at the harpy cries of special offer dips
pretzels, breadsticks, half-fat crisps
till the tiller from my fingers slips
and I find myself aground
helplessly looking round
in the self-serve environs
of the screen-bright sirens
who bleep and scan and sing to me
supermarket seductively
till I swipe my card to cover the amount
and wait five days for the vouchers to print out