These health screens.
I end up asking the same old questions, falling into them as easily and carelessly as a frog plopping into a pond.
‘How are you feeling, Muriel? In yourself? Eating and drinking okay? How are your bowels?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Your bowels, Muriel. Have you opened your bowels today?’
She widens her eyes, leans forward.
‘Have you?’
‘Me?’
‘Yes! You! How are your bowels today?’
‘Well – I’m pretty regular. I eat a lot of fruit. So they’re fine, thanks. You know. Soft.’
‘Good,’ she says. ‘Lovely. Soft. Write that down.’
jim clayton 
Daft the things you pick up,but if they float that’s good,if they sink that’s not so good.
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Er…ahem… the other way round, I think! They should really sink if you’re eating a balanced diet with plenty of fibre. Floating can be a sign your diet is too high in fat. I don’t think a floater’s a medical emergency, though. Just something to think about (end of public health broadcast)
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In fairness Jim,it was 24 years ago,so I’m hoping for a little grace on getting it the wrong way round.
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I’m always getting things wrong.
The other day I asked a patient whether she’d opened her bowels today. She looked at me and said ‘Well, no. As I just explained, I have a stoma bag fitted…’
Oops.
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