‘D’you know, the last medical I had was in ninety-forty nine, when I was called up for National Service. I remember the doctor there. A quiet individual. Very cold hands. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, but the sergeant major jumps up and shouts Drop ‘em! so of course that’s what I did. He fumbled around like they do and then jabbed me in the bottom with a needle. But that wasn’t the worst of it. He turned round to get something off the table and I thought he’d finished so I pulled my trousers up. But the needle was still there and I pushed it further in. I screamed and flew headfirst out of the door. When I came back in and handed the needle over, I didn’t get an apology. In fact, the sergeant major said it was a good thing I came back because otherwise he was going to put me on a charge for stealing government property. And that was my introduction to the army.’