trailer b

I’ve got the white house on the phone
the eagle has flown
& he’s not a happy bunny
so where do you think that leaves you, einstein jr?
whistling bieber in the goon shop
dabbing a lollipop up your ass
while a tornado screws up the joint
that’s where, mister
so if you wouldn’t mind

well where the F major did you leave it?
okay, so I politely request that you find it
the head horror of who-gives-a-shit
just sent me a valentine made of bricks
he says he’s sending the monkey brigade
they’re gonna line up outside, two by two
kick my hairy butt and put it on youtube
so if it’s not too much trouble
would ya get yourself on that bike with the basket on the front
or whatever the hell it is you drive these days

am I the only living brain in this god forsaken
kindergarten with any idea of anything?
am I the only nubhead who ever read a book?
how’ve you made it this far?
what d’you brush your teeth with every morning? mooch paste?
wha d’ya put on your cornflakes? semi-stiffed milk?
cheesus h starfish I don’t care who you know or who you don’t know
I know what you should know, okay?
you should know where the GOOD GODDAMN TRAILER B IS
so do it. do it now. do that thing.

the prince of hubcaps just sent me a note
email? hell, no. this was nailed to the forehead of the former ambassador
a warning, if you will
look – am I the only schlub with a window?
wha d’ya think those birds are doing
hitchcocking-up the playground like that?
why’’d ya think it’s gone so quiet?
watch the news once in a while, goldilocks
the cartels are stocking up on duck tape
and believe me, it ain’t for no ducks

trailer b

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