fake poem

i’m a work in progress, i’m under construction
i’m a graduate of ‘98, class of alien abduction
i’m a slicker in silks, i’m rapturously frugal
i’m a sucker fish clamped to the tailpipe of google
i’m dermabrasion, mastopexy, augmentation, tuck
i’m the last of the great white rhinos run out of luck
i’m simon stylites raving on his pillar
i’m a discount david cast in polyfilla
i’m a bargain bucket of WTF, i’m trader joe’s, i’m walmart
i’m garfield the cat played by humphrey bogart
i’m a marshall for the boot parade, i’m gates & jobs, i’m sony
i’m optimus prime versus my little pony
i’m jack of all trades, master of nantucket
i’m the clack-handed crabs at the bottom of your bucket
i’m CIA and SIS, i’m wiretap and bug
i’m mr t gone to seed, i’m POTUS sans rug
i’m the con in confusion, i’m the platinum G in twenty
i’m the marionette on the barbecue who says he owes you plenty


who knows what the truth is
and who on earth’s to blame
just give me a shot of whatever you’ve got
and hell – i’ll do the same

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