I’m the Greek god Swerverus / verging on the murderous / I’m serious / lary and scarious / I’m bike, van & pedestrian car-nivorous / I’m oblivious / cutting it fine / chopping the line
I’m Hyde on junk / Jekyll in the trunk / chuckling / hairy knuckling / Jackie D suckling / so buckle up buck / let’s fuck that truck
I’m one part Cyclops, two parts Hydra / I’m the supersized, turbocharged outsider / shooting up beside ya / the red-eyed rider / faster than light in the orbital pipe of the Hadron Collider
I’m so late I’m early / I’m four parts Pirelli, one part Curly Wurly / I’m a Ford Super Surly / Lexus Grievous / Lamborghini Weeny / Audi Lout
I’m stoked, ripped, souped, pumped / I’ve got high lift heart valves and chillies in my sump / I’ve got all the dials a driver could want: I’ve got a rage gauge / humility filter / sense inverter / crash converter / law perverter
Yes – I’ve got a snarl counter
Yes – I’ve got a spit bit
Yes – I’ve got a gnash-cam
I’m the chip on your hard shoulder / the devil in your cup holder / the flasher / the tailpipe snapper / the racing trim reaper / the red light creeper / the red bull sleeper
I’m pure fastosterone / I put the roll in rock / the click in clock / I put the rev in arrive and the kids in shock / I put the zoom in zone / the tin in tone / resistance is futile / I’m a dysfunctional projectile / I’m a fume-seeking, chance-taking, move-making, goddamn motor-vational MISSILE
a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
okay – YEP
meanwhile, Confuck-cius / what’s this? / the.. hell….a postcard from the FUTURE?
‘Dear Slowie – I think those big velcro shoes really suit ya’
objects in the mirror are closer than they appear / well look again, baby – THEY’RE ALREADY HERE!
where’d he go / I don’t know / my radar’s too slow / oh / there he is / ripping through the sky / like a meteorite / the purest essence of divine light / that’s him alright / disappearing out of sight / heading off into outer space / the super fast face / of homo-raciens / on the hunt for alien civilisations / in ships of the most advanced class / so he can drive right up their arse / and flash his lights till they let him pass