close encounters

I’m the Greek god Swerverus / verging on the murderous / I’m serious / lary and scarious / I’m car-nivorous / braking distance oblivious / unseen, insane, insidious / I’m flashy, crashy, horny, hideous / invidious / skiddeous

I’m Hyde on junk / Jekyll in the trunk / chuckling / hairy knuckling / Jackie D suckling / so buckle up buck / let’s go fuck that truck

I’m one part Cyclops, two parts Hydra / I’m the supersized, turbocharged outsider / shooting up beside ya / the red-eyed rider / faster than light in the orbital pipe of the Hadron Collider

I’m a queue jumping alligator / taxi macerator / capital incapacitator  / fast & furious activator

I’m so late I’m early / I’m four parts Pirelli, one part Curly Wurly / I’m a Ford Super Surly / Lexus Grievous / Lamborghini Weeny / Audi Lout 

I’m stoked, ripped, souped, pumped / I’ve got high lift heart valves, chillies in my sump / I’ve got all the dials a driver could want: 

I’ve got a rage gauge / humility filter / sense inverter / crash converter / law perverter


Yes – I’ve got a snarl counter

Yes – I’ve got a spit bit

Yes – I’ve got a gnash-cam 

I’m the chip on your hard shoulder / the devil in your cup holder / the crasher, the flasher / the tailpipe snapper / the racing trim reaper / the red light creeper / the red bull sleeper

I’m pure fastosterone

I put the roll in rock / the click in clock / I put the rev in arrive and the kids in shock 

I’m a phone-guided drone hunting in the pedestrian zone

+++ a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step +++

okay – YEP

meanwhile, Confuck-cius / what’s this? / the.. hell….a postcard from the FUTURE?
‘Dear Slowie – I think those big velcro shoes really suit ya’
King Commute

objects in the mirror are closer than they appear / well look again, baby – THEY’RE ALREADY HERE!

where’d he go / I don’t know / my radar’s too slow / oh / there he is / ripping through the sky / like an automotive meteorite / the purest essence of divine light / that’s him alright / disappearing out of sight / heading off into outer space / the super fast face of homo-raciens / on the hunt for alien civilisations / in ships of the most advanced specifications / so he can drive right up their arse / and flash his lights till they let him pass

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