You know you’re REALLY in the shit
when the guy tasked with getting us out of it
holds a press conference with a packet of biscuits
and the biscuits win

Seriously. What’s WRONG with him?

BISCUITS?
Is this the future of UK business?
If this is charisma
then I’m Father Charismas

What IS this?

Maybe he’s smarter than that
Maybe there’s half a plan under that hair-like hat
Maybe he’s tying the media in knots
playing them with multiple money making plots
ready to dump shares in Vegemite and Arnott’s

Or not.

Is this what passes for a serious trade representation?
Taking a press briefing dressed as Sir Les Patterson?

What other Australian things does he know?
I’m surprised he doesn’t mention Russell Crowe
What about Skippy, or Kylie Minogue?
Or stand there dressed as Ned Kelly instead
with a dented tin bucket on his head
a sign round his neck that says G’Day! I’m Boris!
We’re up shit creek, mate – please don’t ignoris