tongue twisters

She sells sea shells on the sea shore
Which is pretty hardcore
given you’re
surrounded by a billion shells or more

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
Okay…good!
To begin with, a woodchuck is a North American rodent with a heavy body and short legs
which kinda begs
the question
Why the attraction?
I mean, it’s quite effective in swampy, out of the way spots
but I seriously doubt you’ll recoup your training costs
so…I’m afraid our views on wood management somewhat differ
and if I was you I’d seriously consider
a chipper

Swan swam over the sea! Swim, swan, swim! Swan swam back again! Well swum, swan!
And that’s your full and final statement, is it?
That’s the reason for the late night visit?
You know what? I don’t buy it
Why would a swan swim the sea and not fly it?
So let’s just drop all the bird shit and start from the top.
Tell me who Mr Swan is and who ordered the drop?

The sixth sick sheikh’s sixth sheep’s sick
and from what I’ve heard they’re falling pretty quick
sheikh to sheep, sheep to sheikh
an alarming direction for farming to take
not just the herd but the herders too
in a worryingly novel zoonotic flu
(but according to one veterinarian old-timer
just another case of contagious ecthyma)

Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran
(his clothes are only ragged
because the rugged rock’s so jagged
and I don’t know if he’s really a rascal
I mean – you’re welcome to ask all
you like
Mike
but whether he’s on his rock or his bike
he never says a lot
so I’m sorry but that’s the best I’ve got
If you’re really so intrigued by the man in question
come back later’s my best suggestion)

Peter Piper picked up the phone and asked for speech and language therapy

2 thoughts on “tongue twisters

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