And God saith unto Noah
This Man thing I made’s a total no-goer
I thought it might be a slow grower
but I turn round for a minute
and the place has gone to shit
so that’s it
Forget it
I quit
totally regret it
The Earth’s fucked and I’m going to reset it

Uh-huh
saith Noah
who knoweth well his God
how when he bloweth his wad
it’s often safest to smile and nod

…so I’m sending a big flood
a cataclysm of water and mud
to cleanse the blood
And what YOU’VE got to do
is build yourself a floating zoo
for you & your brood
and every single animal in twos
a kind of Gucci nature cruise
– but you look confused…

and when Noah didst finally clear his throat
he saith Jesus Christ that’s some big boat
would it even FLOAT?
I mean – yes, the world is thronged
with swingers in thongs
going at it like frogs in a pond
all night long
and sometimes I worry I don’t belong
but come on!
isn’t a flood just WRONG?

You dare to defy me?
Your Lord God Almighty?
When did YOU get so feisty?

And Noah didst most simply shrug
and secretly adjust his stone butt plug