Ian lived over the road
I used to go
over there a lot
not
because we were friends
– that would bend
the definition
out of all recognition
no, it was because he had a lot of stuff
and my jealousy was just enough
motivation
to overcome my hesitation
and keep me knocking
(which I freely admit was pretty shocking)
what Ian had that I didn’t:
- Ian’s dad worked in a canning factory
(not in the warehouse: something managery)
he’d struggle backwards through the door with boxes of stuff
many times more than enough
for a tidy family of two
not like us, the kind of sprawling, brawling clan who’d
segment an orange and fight to the death
over who took the flesh and who took the pith
no – this was food of a higher dimension
Planter’s Peanuts in a can, not to mention
all the pears and apricots and peaches
each
in enormous catering sizes
and my eyes
would widen
as Ian’s dad struggled to hide ‘em
in a blanketed stack in the hall
and I knew they’d never get through it all
so it teetered there taunting me
totally haunting me
but if I put out a hand
Ian would stand
and say no
and I’d say why
and he’d say because
and I’d get a can and throw it at his face
and I’d be ordered out post haste
and we didn’t speak
and that was our friendship for ANOTHER week - Ian had a Hot Wheels Triple Loop kit
and I totally lusted after it
far and away the most amazing thing yet
Ian let me set
the track up
but he’d put my back up
when he launched the cars and I had to catch em
bring them back so he could despatch em
over and over and over
like I was the crew but he was the owner
which in a way you’d have to say he was
and I’d say can I have a go
and he’d say no
and I’d say why
and he’d say because
and I’d get a car and throw it at his face
and I’d be ordered out post haste
and we didn’t speak
and that was our friendship for ANOTHER week - Ian had a mechanical horse
A MECHANICAL FUCKING HORSE!
with the kind of stirrups
when Ian worked them moved him forwards
rattling along the pavement
me standing by in amazement
and I’d say can I have a go
and he’d say no
and I’d say why
and he’d say because
and I’d push him out of the saddle
and straddle
him on the floor
and his mum would hurry outdoors
in her slippers
saying I was a disgrace
and pack me off post haste
and we didn’t speak
and that was our friendship for ANOTHER week
then one day they moved
(I think it was me but it can’t be proved)
I wonder what Ian’s doing now?
I imagine him in politics somehow
WE NEED INVESTMENT IN PUBLIC SERVICES
so Ian surfaces
on the evening news
to vocalise the government’s views
which is essentially no
and the interview says Oh?
Why?
and he says because
and the interviewer starts thrashing him with her questionnaire
and the news gets taken off the air
