We’re Boris the Builder building back better! / beaver, batter, bother, whatever / a wink to the rich, a nod to the camera / the Eton dodge of sounding clever / while the King is in the All Together, and all together / we read the room and ride the weather / and everything goes to the highest bidder

We’re duped, doped, king of the dump / Donald Duck meets Donald Trump / goofily gazumped / the polar opposite of pumped / run-out and stumped / the quick brown fox was pushed before he jumped

We’re gaslit and witless / on this sceptered isle of deceptiveness / awash with Priti pettishness / Margaret Thatcher fetishists / thumbs in the air, cuffs on the wrists / hapless, hopeless / wide-eyed and faithless

We’re headfirst in the soup / out of luck, out of the loop / led by an anagram of King Cnut / who shoots the Channel a two-fingered salute / then fucks off back to his wallpapered roost / to dish his dodgy donors the loot

We’re Poundland pounders, ounces standard / empty headed, empty handed / empty forecourt, empty tankers / Britannia strangled with a Tory lanyard / Kuenssberg swigging from a Boris Toby tankard / whilst Willy Wonka gets fully willy wankered / with his cabinet of cheerleading chancers and chancres

I don’t know – it gets so waring / all this social media scaring & sharing
nothing seems to make a difference / so anyway – what d’you want for Christmas?