snow white
was doing alright
til her stepmother
got jealous of her

mirror mirror speak, goddamn
who’s the biggest on instagram?

the mirror
shivered

prithee my queen tho’ it pains me to say
Snow White wins by several K

the Queen had a fit, man
ordered a hit man
to take Snowie out
in the spooky forest or thereabouts

he couldn’t do it, though
let Snowie go
fooled the queen
with a heart swap routine

Snowie walked through the woods then backed up
found some little people and shacked up

ten years passed
until the Queen asked
the mirror
to deliver
its particular sort
of magical social media report

apparently
it was still Snowie

the Queen raged
rearranged
her features
into one of those cliche witchy creatures

poisoned some fruit
whose effect was so acute
that as soon as Snowie swallowed
tragedy followed

the little people found her, blew a gasket
laid her out in a plexiglass casket

a prince came by and was freaked by this
performed CPR with love’s first kiss

the little people chased the queen
till she fell beak first down a steep ravine
and got royally crushed by a gigantic boulder
which the little people felt definitively told her

and the moral?

purity’s a winner, envy cancer
(& don’t question mirrors if you can’t take the answer)